sealed with a kiss

wedding dress wednesday

2010-02-10T07:00:00.000-06:00

sunday, sunday.

2010-02-07T14:13:00.004-06:00

i can't believe how busy i've been these past two weeks. hours picked up at work, i went through a little dilemma (or like 20), a 3 day long garage sale with j's family, and now i'm moving in with j this week. with this said, i have 3 days to do this because he's going out of town thursday, friday and saturday for family. i can't go (sadface) because i absolutely can't miss work because i suck at life and heaven forbid i miss two days of work and they'll cut my hours to 4 then that negative balance will keep growing and soon they bank will come and take me to sell me for all the money i owe them.

on a lighter note, i will be spending the rest of the day looking at pretty images, listening to music and cleaning j's shit up so i can put all my shit in, then cuddle on the couch as we watch the superbowl. just the kind of day i love.

elsewhere.

2010-01-29T17:26:00.003-06:00

i haven't been writing lately due to my mind being in a different place. i'll be back next week with lots of new things and something about myself that you may laugh at. and see a lot of.

happy weekend!

because i know it's right.

2010-01-22T12:00:00.000-06:00

it always starts the same; kissing, hugging. then it's harder kissing and hands start moving. one holds my back, the other tugs my hair. both hands on his face, i pull him closer.

clothes fall to the floor, we lay on the bed.

it's all pure bliss. we feel the love between us, everything we've worked for. i start letting my imagination wonder and think about the future. us, our future marriage, the children. i see you coming home from work to a house full of kids, so completely excited for you to be home. i see your family coming to see me in the hospital after giving birth. i see it all, and i wonder why.

i know the finish is coming soon, and it will be time for cuddling and falling asleep in the pure bliss. but another thought comes into my mind. how will this end?

i imagine myself pregnant and carrying your baby. it feels right, like right now right. come on, just let it slip, maybe the condom will break. we're at the climax, and its only moments away.

but of course, it doesn't happen that way. i feel a slight disappointment, and then comes reality. we have so much ahead for us, and so many things to see and expirenence before this. we're ready, but we're not ready and certain things need to come first. we have a life as the young couple and newlyweds to live.

and then, after it's all said and done, we come home to four children everyday. four children under the age of four. we basically already have kids.

lazyness is great.

2010-01-17T15:31:00.003-06:00

I am the type of person that enjoys laying around and doing nothing on the weekends. this weekend was exactly that, being extremely relaxing for me. I didn't work out once, which was also kind of nice but now of course I'm regretting it slightly. why? might you ask? welllll it might be BECAUSE now I have to work extra hard since i'm GOING ON A frickinnnn CRUISE!!!!

yes my friends. j and I will be sailing our little hearts away to the Bahamas in June visiting a few islands. I am so excited since I have never been on a cruise before. maybe this means proposal? :)

so I must ask, what fun things have you done on a cruise and what would you suggest doing in the bahamas for excursions? help, help, help!

list number 1.

2010-01-14T19:41:00.002-06:00

five things i wish i didn't love.

1. ranch. fat fat fat.

2. the real housewives of orange county. I REALLY WISH i could explain why i love this show, but i can't. :(

3. billy bob thorton. hah uhhhh this has gone down. don't fret.

4. mexican food.

5. erotic novels.

gym rants.

2010-01-14T06:06:00.000-06:00

i've worked out in different gyms and i've noticed different things about each. the gym that i decided to work out in definitely has a problem with grunters. AGHHHH. grunters?! for some of you, you many not know what a gym grunter is and your lucky bitches. these are the grown men that feel the burning of their muscles is equivalent to getting laid, and need to express it with their noises. it's just an awkward situation all around. i dont need to hear that when all i'm trying to do is workout my butt. do you know how WEIRD it is that i'm squatting next to you, and your groaning? i can no longer squat due to you!

moving on.

now let me say i am no old man hater. i feel for them and i totally respect my elders, but i don't really want to chat with all the old men at the gym. of course i do because i fear for my life they're lonely. (it kills me when i'm in a restaurant and i see someone-especially over 50-eating by themselves) but now j calls me the old man gym whore. is it just me they're talking to? do i attract the elderly?

my biggest nightmare is an old man grunting. gross.

i claim to be something i'm not.

2010-01-13T18:28:00.001-06:00

as i've been thinking more and more about this blog i've been wanting to make it more personal and different than i had originally planned. i made this blog to be a journal for my workouts and fitness goals, but i just don't have that much to say about it. sooo i've been thinking of what the name will change to once i make those goals, and how i'll transform this blog into what i want it to be. basically, changes will be made so don't just assume this is a health/fitness blog because i am most definitely nothing all health and fitness and probably the least from it.

i'm also not a writer so i probably shouldn't claim to be that either...

2010-01-04T17:15:00.000-06:00

last night j and I did two videos of insanity and while it felt like hell and I thought at one point that I actually might freaking die it also felt really good. the first video was pure cardi and hard for me to keep up with. then miraculously I completely kept up with the second videos warm up and most of the workout part.

I feel really fucking good.

when love hurts.

2010-01-03T18:50:00.000-06:00

last night i cried more than i have in months. i was sobbing. i finally had the talk with j about how i was feeling and how i was afraid for our relationship. i understand that things change as a relationship grows and progresses but the things that were changing were the things that meant the most to me. i wasn't getting kissed hello and goodbye. i wasn't getting cuddled before we fell asleep. he was grouchy and snappy to me. all the sweet things that were being said, turned into less sweet words. these may seem like selfish things, but i can't help but want them. i completely felt like i wasn't wanted at all and that's not a feeling you should have in a relationship.

it crossed my mind a few times that he was going through something and having a hard time. j is one of those closed off types, and he comes to me for what he needs help with, anything he does on his own. for some reason, i kept forgetting of that and jumped to conclusions that we were falling apart. i started getting the crazies, being bitchy, over-sensitive, and mad all the time. i knew it was time for me to do something about it.

i learned a lot about j last night, and relearned a few things about myself. i made rules for j and rules for me. we mended our love back together and after an hour and half of tears screaming and hugging, i felt a million times better.

i'm extremely glad that i've learned to work through this and not just give up. i could of walked away last night, not looking back and not asking questions. i know it's something i would of done before, but i know deep down somewhere, j might be mine forever.

-------------------------------------

on other notes, worked out today and burned 536 calories at the gym! about to do two videos of insanity to try to catch up (j oddly thinks this is the best way to go about the situation) and then two tomorrow. i'll let you know tomorrow how it goes!

failing.

2010-01-02T17:21:00.000-06:00

i really don't enjoy failing. it's one of my LEAST favorite things. last night, j and i still didn't do our insanity workout. today would of been my day off, but instead i've decided that i'm going to try to do TWO videos today. and i'm sure they're the hard videos. yes, i did go to the gym, but i only did my abs and buttocks barely burning 250 calories in an hour.

other than that, i'm having a terribly hard time in my relationship and i'm really hoping its the weather. things have to change or i don't know what will happen. :(

tears.

lessons learned in 2009

2010-01-01T15:00:00.000-06:00

ten things i learned in 2009.

1. the one relationship i honestly thought would go nowhere, went somewhere BIG.

2. i thought i wanted and was ready for a baby, but i'm not. and i'm really glad i realized that fast.

3. i do enjoy working out and everything fitness related, but i have a bad case of laziness

4. selena gomez is one cool cat. so if your forced to watch is because of a few significant kiddos under the age of 4, you'll enjoy it.

5. the true reason behind my parents divorce, and who my parents really are.

6. high school really does suck compare to college. i don't care what your parents said.

7. NOBODY needs fast food and you actually CAN cut it out, but chick fil a is pretty damn good.

8. how to save money. (unfortunately i learned this in november.)

9. i enjoy working but i hate my jobs.

10. mexican food is very, very, very bad for your body. especially between your knees and breast.

damn you, new years.

2010-01-01T11:52:00.000-06:00

yesterday i went to the gym and did cardio for forty five minutes, only burning 320 calories.

then, j and i came home and cooked a feast of dinner with his family which was followed by eating it, then a game which lasted an hour, then new year celebrations concluding in no insanity work out. so we're a day behind but i can say it was for a good reason.

this blog is going to be more personal than just a fitness blog, but i've been trying to figure out the best way to introduce more of my life. that post will be coming later today!

day three

2009-12-30T23:28:00.000-06:00

cardio recovery was surprisingly pretty easy. there were hard moves that burned in my precious highs (haha) but all in all i just felt jipped. j and i did sign up at a gym so on days that i have an easy workout through insanity, or i'm feeling psycho, i can burn a little extra at the gym. my cocky boyfriend on the other hand just feels that insanity isn't giving him the upper body workouts he'd prefer so he plans to "pump the iron." i hope he gets sore.

i really did need today's workout to be like it was though. i think i'll refer to it as my power yoga night. :)

resolutions and such

2009-12-30T14:03:00.000-06:00

one day before 2010 i always make my goals for the upcoming year. i also always fail them. this year, i'm going to try to do this a little differently and really stick to it.

rather than have goals for the year, i'm going to have a theme for a goal monthly. around the end of each month i'll let you know what theme goal will be for the following month and how i did at the last one.

as of a year goal, that would most definitely be to get into the best shape of my life and continue working at my dream of being in a fitness magazine!

january's theme/goal is for me to lose weight. this is how i want to start out the year, and i'm really wanting to fit into those jeans that use to be big on me! i know i can do it, and i know i'm on the right track. i can't wait to see my results and finally want to look in the mirror again. i mean seriously, it's even affecting my sex life!

day 2

2009-12-30T12:01:00.000-06:00

i was hoping that this workout was going to be easier than mondays, but it very well wasn't. this was pure cardio in a way that burns your legs. after the warm up that lasts about 15 minutes and is maybe the hardest part of the workout, i was dying for the stretch. one of the main reason i enjoy this program is because its so rewarding when you finish A THIRD of it. after finishing a much needed stretch you go right back into the workout and once again, your panting, screaming, and your heart rate is through the roof!

pure cardio consists of-

the warm up:
jogging
jumping jacks
1-2-3 heisman
high knees
butt kicks
REPEAT then REPEAT again.

stretching for 5 minutes

power jumps
4 push ups, then mountain climbers, jump up then repeat
globe jumps (jump to the right, to the front, to the left, then back)
moving push ups (move to the right, then push up, repeat then go left)

there are more exercises that i can't remember what shaun t. calls them, but after doing all of them you repeat twice trying to go faster and faster than the last.

i felt okay after this workout-not sick to my stomach like the fit test, but not really good after day 1. today j and i are going to 24 hour to possibly get a gym membership. they have a really good deal going on right now, but it expires december 31st.

i still have day 3 to do, which is cardio recovery but something tells me its not going to be any recovery i've heard of.

Untitled

2009-12-29T20:52:00.000-06:00

Ummm so tomorrow ill have to post workout two and three. I'm far too tired to do it right now and trust me, you won't even be able to read the post if I do it right now. Goodnighttttt! And I'm doing this from my iPod touch since I can't seem to get off the ground. Yikes.

is waking up always going to feel like this?

2009-12-29T11:45:00.000-06:00

as i expected i woke up feeling sore and sick with a cough and runny nose. the weird thing about it all was the fact that i didn't feel any of it until i tried to walk down the stairs and my legs buckled and down i went.

luckily i grabbed a railing about 7 stairs down.

Day 1.

2009-12-28T23:35:00.000-06:00

hellloooo all!

here i go by barbie. its a nickname i've oddly inherited through my life and seems like a good alias to all that may find me. this blog is a little project i am creating for my body transformation journey.

i am aiming to get into the best shape of my life and get the body i've always dreamt of having. unfortunately, i fell in love with an amazing guy, and have become too comfortable with mexican food and what-not causing a weight gain of twenty five freaking pounds!

i guess you could say that the movie julie and julia inspired me to blog my way through this life change-but i think it will be great loads of fun and i can meet some awesome bloggins!

well to get started, i am doing all of this through INSANITY from beachbody. its a 60 day program that pledges to transform your body completely. yesterday, j (my ken) and i, started this program with a fit test. i seriously wanted to throw up and die after it. only being 30 minutes, i had to do my absolute best at 8 different exercises and record them. i would say i did okay the first half but towards the end, i completely fell apart. like- i did 6 reps. total. somehow, i managed to get up today and do the first workout and actually felt like living after finishing it. i did have to take far more breaks than the people on the screen (and j) but i felt good and like i was pushing myself!

i just can imagine what pain i'm going to feel tomorrow. :/